subject line: thoughts on being alone.

 
jacques70-world-map-black-on-white_a-G-10351711-9664567.jpg

Everywhere and Nowhere

I know that loneliness is a universal feeling. That as I type these words, a million other people feel the exact same way. I guess that knowledge should make me feel better, but really, it just makes me sad.

It’s 11:38 pm and I’m alone in a bed sized for two. I keep replaying my friends’ Instagram stories, trying to imagine myself there with them. Is it selfish to want to be wanted? Maybe. But I think it’s also human nature.

I’ll move out of this house in less than a month, into an apartment filled with just me and my thoughts. I won’t miss sharing a bathroom or a kitchen, but I will miss feeling like I’m a part of something. Tonight was just the first taste of watching the people I love slip away. I’m moving out and they will move on.

I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I guess it’s because loneliness is a universal feeling. I’m drawing imaginary lines between this email and strangers’ screens. If you find this email, maybe we can be alone together. Maybe that can be enough for both of us.