subject line: children and a ghost.

 

Magdalena de Kino, Mexico

She left yesterday. I stood there with a weeping child on my hip and a blister on my left heel. And she walked away, leaving behind the life she thought she had made. It’s funny, you know. I’m not mad; I’m not sad either. I’m just lonely now. People keep asking me if I’m relieved, as if their sympathetic smiles could understand anything I’ve been through in the past three years at this foster home. How can I be relieved when everything she left behind is now living in my house, sleeping in my bed, eating my breakfast? No, I am not relieved; I am resigned. Friends, I ask you, is there any mother out there who didn’t mean to be one, who isn’t living with as much weight in their heart as I? The children have taught me that resignation is a must. But her ghost has taught me that hopelessness is not.