subject line: I'm over it, but I still stalk your Instagram

 
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Pennsylvania

I think humans like to believe that we are the best at loving another human.
“No one will love you better than I can.”
But truth is, she just might be a better lover than me. She might listen better, might fit onto your chest and under your arm better, might remember the lyrics to your songs better, might know the right words to say better than I ever did.
So I like to say that “I’m the best you’ll ever have,” in order to preserve my pride - to make myself feel better about how she’s “the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen” even though you told me that everyday. But I’m probably wrong.
Is she better? I might not ever know.
But if I really was the best, maybe we would’ve worked out. If I was, I probably wouldn’t be here writing you this ridiculous letter on the internet. Maybe our second go around wouldn’t have ended up with us too damn scared to let each other in again. Maybe things wouldn’t have ended with us blankly staring at each other until one of us caved into the “you’re better without me” speech.
So for both of our sakes, I hope she is better in every way for you. But I also secretly hope you won’t be able forget the way I made you feel when we were still so young and in love.