subject line: afraid

 

Grenada

I find it very hard to sleep most nights. Usually I’m woken up by nightmares or experiences of sleep paralysis. I’ve come to find out now that I have a paralysing fear gripping me. I fear that I will fail at everything that I have put work into. I fear that I am going to end up unfulfilled and wanting for a better life. I fear that I am heading down the wrong path and doing the wrong things. I fear that I am never going to be better than I am now, that there is no growth and that I am stuck. I am afraid of the future because it looks so bleak. Most of all I am afraid that whatever I will turn out to be will be as a result of the choices I have made and I will have no one else to blame but me.