subject line: dreams that won't come true.

 

San Diego

The other day a pregnant coworker told me that she had her first “baby dream” the night before. I felt a pang of something—not quite jealousy, but some intense melancholy longing, the same one I felt when I sat across the aisle on an airplane from a woman and her baby, who fell asleep with one little hand held tight in her mama’s. I’ve always felt this longing, this desire to hold & cherish that life that God entrusted to my care. But it hurts so much more ever since my doctor told me that I may never be able to wake from a baby dream and marvel at the kick of a beautiful life growing inside of me.