subject line: please ask me again


Mantua, Virginia

It started as a joke from the teen magazine inventory list of “50 Questions to Ask Your Best Guy Friend”. A stack of index cards in your glove compartment and a game of 3 questions on the last night before you travel the 500 miles back home. Sitting in your car in our “spot” - the mountain road overlook where we can see the entire city bustling below us and stars twinkling overhead - you unwound the now dry-rotted rubber band around the stack and picked a card.

”If you could time travel, is there one moment of your life that you would go back and change?”

I told you no, I wouldn’t change anything, because everything happens for a reason.

But I lied.

My moment happened over a decade now, but it feels like an eternity and yesterday all at the same time. We were standing on the lakeshore. You in your Billabong cap and me in my lacrosse t-shirt.
You asked if you could kiss me.
I said no.
You never asked again.

I now have two regrets.

Turning down that kiss and missing the opportunity to tell you.