subject line: almost loves

 

ohio

I’ve written in this little white rectangle a million times. It’s always the same story - an almost love story. It’s the bittersweet kind that leaves you with the sting of what could have been and gut-punching hope for what never will be. People tell their stories of “almost love” with sentimentality and sweet-as-honey daydreams. It’s the smiling glances on a train, the witty conversations with a cute neighbor. Then the train arrives at your station, and the neighbor moves away. Poof, it’s gone. We can have a million flirtatious glances, first dates, and summer nights. And yes - they are exhilarating and fun and adventurous. However, at the end of the day, I don’t want the fling. I want the real thing. And I’m afraid I’ll never get it. What does it take to be chosen by someone? That’s all I want. To be cared for enough that someone would chose to know me more - to take off their shoes and stay awhile.