subject line: it was too late from the start

 

Charlotte, North Carolina

I feel like I have to put it out there how hard Sunday was for me too. Walking away from your door and going to my own bed. Hugging you in front of the hotel the next morning and not turning around five times.

There’s a lot I want for my life, and one of those wants is unequivocally you. And I feel a little silly for not realizing it sooner, but I think everything that happened to lead up to this moment would have gone similarly either way.

There’s about 739 additional things I’d like to say, but for the most part, I think in this particular situation that my silence is better. I know you have some things to figure out (or you’ve already figured them out and now you have to do them) for yourself. And I don’t want to be a burden on those musings, and I certainly don’t want you to feel like you have any sort of obligation towards me if you did return.

So I guess just know that while I won’t be sitting around waiting for you, I will be holding out a little spark of hope that one day in the future our timing might actually be right.

Goodbyes suck.