subject line: seasons

 

the south

When you said that you didn’t understand why life was happening the way it was - my answer was that it was the season you were in. But the hardest part- what I was lacking- was that was I couldn’t understand what you were going through. I didn’t try to stand in your storm with you. I stood on the outside thinking that I could give you answers and that the answers could solve everything.

I’m still not sure what we were. Or what we weren’t. You couldn’t answer that question. And neither could I.

In that season for me, you were what I needed. And I liked to think I could have been what you needed as well. But I wasn’t. I couldn’t be. And I’m sorry for that.

I wish I could’ve been more. I wish I could’ve soothed your doubts and worries. Not told you that you would be fine when you weren’t. I’m sorry if I felt more than you did. Not let you think I wasn’t interested when I was.

I’m sorry I always tried to have answers to everything. I’m sorry I didn’t make you give me answers. I’m sorry I made you want to leave without working to find answers together. But maybe answers just don’t answer what we need sometimes.

Some seasons are prosperous. Magical. Full of growth.
And other seasons are hard. Barren. Cold. Silent.

I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you needed in that season you were in - whichever it may have been.