subject line: emerge

 

Redding, California

I spent the last season of my life spread thin and brittle, busier than I ever dreamed that I would be, tending to everyone else’s needs, nodding annoyingly when others would tell me to take time for myself.
When you’re spread thin and brittle, taking time for yourself feels like one more thing you’ve got to accomplish.

But I’m in a different season now. One with quite an empty schedule - less connections, less obligations. It feels lonely a lot of the time, If I’m honest.

I’ve noticed something, though - if I will sit in the lonely, resist the urge to do and schedule and busy my heart, I find my desires emerging again. It is wild how quickly you can lose yourself to busy-ness, forgetting what you love, forgetting what your heart beats for. But these days, I welcome the lonely; the space in my schedule. In the quiet, I feel my heart remembering. In the quiet, I feel my heart rekindling excitement and burning with passion.

I never lost anything - I was never broken beyond repair - I only needed space to remember.