subject line: I regret that I ever wanted you to be it


Port City+Music City

This time last year I was a wreck. So heartbroken that he didn’t love me. So heartbroken that I walked in on my Mom naked with a man in her bed with her. So heartbroken that my Father didn’t love me. So so broken that you didn’t care for me, and that you cared for that girl that I always worried about instead. I was not me. I was sad and too skinny. I think I lost my mind and my soul for a bit because apparently I wasn’t good enough for you. I wasn’t her.

The good news is a year can make a world of difference. Moving away, finishing school, seeking God, mending the frayed relationships with my parents, paying rent, being completely exhausted and feeling outside of my body, but making it, signing with a new job, moving to a new city... And you’re not here for any of it. You can’t make me feel stupid or unloved or unwanted anymore because you’re not around to make me feel that way. I’m so glad you’re not around. I am so much better off without your sorry ass. I am a force to be reckoned with and I deserve someone that cares and someone that cares to help me mend back my soul. You’re not it and I regret that I ever wanted you to be it.