subject line: i don't. June 02, 2016 by Hannah Brencher Ohio My oldest childhood friend got married today. I know because I stood beside her in the scorching sun with a fake smile plastered on my face as she said her vows. You’re supposed to want wedding days to go slow so you can remember everything. I couldn’t wait for it to be over. Marriage has become a terminal disease lately. As of 2:30pm today it’s claimed 3 of my closest friends. So let’s skip the cake cutting and get right to the part when we stop hanging out because you’re not available and texts become more and more scarce. Everyone forgets to put that in the program.