subject line: thank you.

 

massachusetts

Thanks A. Thanks for listening. So many days I am perfectly fine, maybe even excited about what we have. But every once in a while I start to rethink. I question whether an engaged gal should be flirting with a great guy like you. Sometimes I wonder if the line of cheating falls not in the physical, but within the heart.
Everything you said is exactly what’s going through my mind. We never really had a chance. But that’s the part that kills me. I’d rather we had dated & had it not work out. At least then I’d know for sure. Now I’m just stuck wondering if we could ever really be something.
We’d probably be great.
I don’t think there is only one person for each person. I could probably love you & we’d be so great to each other. But it’s a path I’ll never know. Because you’re right, I’ve been with him and I will be with him as long as he’ll have me. I have something real with him. What I have with you is flirty looks & a string of open hearted texts a mile long.
I care about you.
Sometimes I think what draws me into thinking about you is missing myself. We are so alike, I think the feelings I have for you are a desire for the former self I used to be. But you sure are a cute metaphorical me haha.
I guess you’ll always be my “what if”, never anything more, never anything less. Thanks for feeling the same.
I hope to god you never find this email.