subject line: loosen your grasp.

 

kabale, uganda

Loosen your grasp. Darn it admit you don’t have any power over guys. Admit you don’t know what the future holds. Be free. Be free of the need to fit into a culture of marriage and boyfriends and being cooler for having a boyfriend. It would be lying to say you don’t want to be married, you’re allowed to want that, but you’re not allowed to let one of the reasons you want that to be so that you can fit in. You can’t let the reason be because all your peers are doing it. You’re an adult, stop trying so hard to be a cool kid, start embracing your freedom, embrace the what the taxi driver said who once told you to come to Africa and learn to fly, fly like a bird. Give it up. BE FREE. Give your love freely, to your co-workers who barely speak English, to your roomie who has faults, to your parents who desperately need love. Be willing to listen. Pray the prayer of St. Francis. Console more than be consoled. Let your spirit be light. Let your laugh come easily. Loosen your damn grasp on the things you can’t have anyways.

And damn it, don’t fall for a guy who approaches you on FB before he’ll approach you in person. Don’t fall for the guy who doesn’t have that courage. You need a man with courage because you’re a lioness. The characteristic most admired and placed on you is adventure. You can’t be with a meek man. You need a man who is brave, who is willing to see the world, even when that means bed-bugs and malaria and no showers and crowded taxis and a shit-ton of beans. Adventure is fulfilling because it isn’t easy. Stop looking for somebody who takes the easy way out and stop choosing the easy way out yourself.

Loosen your grasp. But keep looking for what is better, pray about your decisions, trust that God has plan for you, admit that looking for jobs is depressing and overwhelming, but know that God has a plan for you, and don’t be too proud for whatever that plan is.