subject line: you stupid, beautiful girl.


the city of angels

hi you stupid, beautiful girl,

this is to remind you of a few things that you need to hear the next time that you let fear and doubt take over your whole entire self.

first of all, get a grip of yourself. where is your grace and where is your love, girl? where is your ability to take a step outside of yourself and love this boy even when you are worlds apart? where is your faith and trust in him? where is your gut feeling that has been there for over a year now? where are YOU?

you are everything and enough and extraordinary. i promise you, you are going to come out of this semester as the best possible version of yourself you have ever been. and i know that it is the hardest and craziest thing to think that you are not only surviving but you are living well without the most important person in your life. how can that be? is this a good thing or a bad thing? well let me tell you, it is a GOOD thing, darling. there is not a thing in the world that you do to change the situation right now and there is not a single place in the world that you are supposed to be other than right here. and i think that you know this, too. i think you see it being confirmed to you by little things every single day and you don’t want to admit to yourself or to him that you’re doing just fine. but guess what? that is the whole point of this season. when he comes back, you will be so engrained in your identity here that it will never be a question.

my darling, you can live life without him and that is a good, good thing. this is living proof that your identity is growing to be in yourself and in Him fully, not him. because as much as you love him and can honestly see a future with him, he does not equal who you are. you are you. you are funny and smart and thoughtful and adventurous and silly and wise. you are everything, and enough, and extraordinary.

there is nothing wrong with you focusing on the things that are right before you because that is what you have been called to do here. it’s how you are built and if anything, this should be confirming to you that the two of you belong together because he is built like that too. and the very fact that you know – you KNOW – that you two are and have always been on the same page emotionally about this relationship. how rare is that? HAVE FAITH in that. do not forget the signs that God has been planting on this pathway every step of the way.