subject line: I shouldn't be but I am.



I mean if there’s a way I could take back what I did, I would. However quite literally, I have no clue what I did. The way you see me will possibly never change, and the way you get recognition will never change. So I sit here, 22:36 on a school night, clad in only flannel and underwear, wishing just maybe one of you four would decide. Decide to reach out to me. We moved away to get away from you, to cut ties and forget, but honestly I miss the car rides and aux chords. I miss the childish way I said hello. I miss disney coloring books and red velvet cake. In a way, I’m angry about all of this, a part of me wants to get in contact with you just to show you how I’m doing, showing you that I’m better than before. Showing you that you left a member of your own family behind. I’m rereading that last sentence now and realizing how toxic it is, but to be truthful that’s how I feel. So give me a sign at least, a sign that you’ve seen me lately. Or even thought about me. I miss you.