subject line: I'd like to think that I'm a good person.


simsbury, connecticut

I’d like to think I’m a good person. I don’t know if it’s all in my head but some days I feel like everything I say and do just doesn’t have a positive outcome at all. I’d like to say that I’m a good person. I try my best to be kind and thoughtful and not annoying but then I’ll start paying attention and realize that I’m talking louder than everyone or I said something bad or I left a sour expression on my face that gave someone a wrong impression. I’d like to feel that I’m a good person. I took one of those aptitude tests for school and they told me that I should be a social worker. My first thought was that it would help a lot of people, the second was that I wouldn’t make any money. Why is it that this town has made me feel like money is the only thing a job is good for? I’d like to be a good person. I want to be able to fall asleep at night without regretting something that happened that day or that week or five years ago. I’d like to become a good person, but how is it possible when every cell in my body reacts negatively to the environment I’m in, where I feel like a cancerous cell trying to squeeze through the cracks just to survive? In biology, my teacher said that the weak don’t make it through evolution. Do the good?