subject line: put me in, coach.


washington, d.c.

I feel like I am always second string in every situation.
I’m a wallflower with a heart who wants to be a Grammy nominee, but in reality I’m just background noise.

I don’t know how to not live life on the sidelines because I feel so far away from a starting position. I’ve made a home out of the sideline.

It seems like all of the other players are getting winning shots, while I’m just begging to be put in. I just want God to show up for me and show me that He wants me on His team. I need Him to prove to me that He already has a spot for me in the lineup if I would just show up to play.

I feel like God sees me as the disobeying, disappointment of a girl He’s just waiting to give up on. I know this isn’t true, but I don’t feel like I have anything good to offer him. I feel like even my good He won’t take.