subject line: Richard from Texas was right.


philadelphia, pennsylvania

I do that “Eat, Pray, Love” thing every time I think of you. Whenever I find myself missing you, I pray that God will send you some light and love and grace. It used to be much harder—I couldn’t pray for you without wishing you back, begging God that you would show up with that crooked smile that still made my heart pound every time I saw it. But it turns out that loving you was never about getting to keep you. Loving you was wanting you to have every piece of joy and light that this life has to offer you. And in the end, that meant I had to love you enough to let you go.

So besides the letters in a shoebox that’s never opened that I keep under my bed, all I have left of you is what I hold onto in my prayers. I pray that love and light will find you and that someone else who likes hot chocolate in their coffee and old Taylor Swift albums and driving with the windows down as much as you do will come along to give you that light that I’ve prayed for from afar. And I pray that God will do the same for me.