subject line: how I got over you. Volume 2.

 

concord, new hampshire

There’s something special about dating your best friend. How you know them inside and out, that you go to haunted houses together, and when he lets you borrow his season 2 of criminal minds when you’re feeling under the weather. So what happens when you don’t just lose someone you love and want to spend your life with, but the person who was steady to you through it all? Who kept you laughing even from miles away?

It happened, and I found myself best friendless and staring at the yogurt in the grocery store for 15 minutes while crying. Wondering if I’d survive the goodbye. I slept in his Ravens shirt the night before, snot and tears smeared on the sleeve. That shirt moved with the months that followed. January it stayed folded in the bottom of my drawer at school. March it got promoted to a hanger. May I wore it for purple friday and playoffs. June, July, August, it got moved to the box in the top back shelf of my closet. Clean and folded. And I pull it out to see it sometimes. I can’t bear to give it back. Through the months of ignoring it, wearing it, and staring at it, I never stopped loving it. I never talked to him, but I still had something he loved, and that I grew to love too. And I realized the answer was infront of me the whole time.

Love.

Freedom, contentment, gratitude, grace, all come from love. That Ravens tee stayed, just like my memories and the love for a boy who got stuck in the web of romance. And that’s okay. Love is the antidote for pain. I was free when I let my love be unconditional. Love sets you free.

I’m free. Won’t you come join me?