subject line: it was always supposed to be you two.

 

minneapolis, minnesota

I was sitting there one of my old friends, at 2am, after a few too many glasses of wine, and she asked, “What happened to you two anyways?”

I sat there, teared up, and said, “It’s a respect thing. He couldn’t commit, I couldn’t force it, and then it became, a let’s be friends. Same story, 8 years later. I just thought it would end up different this time.He is my best friend, he is still my best friend. He’s the one guy I can’t love anymore, but I just cant can’t stop. The one boy who knows the way my heart is, and always listened to the words that I didn’t speak.” My friend teared up, and rubbed my back, and was at a loss for words. It was a break up that had happened before, but it has never been anything like this.

After that chat I sat in silence with my friend, open another bottle of wine. Ten minutes later she responded to my story and said, “It was always supposed to be you two. I had it planned out in my mind, and you had it in yours. The weddings, the fights, the arguments, the family. It was always supposed to be you. Every love song that has been written has somehow related to your story. It was always him for you.”

Right then I collapsed in her arms and said, “You’re right. It sucks. It has always been us, and it was always supposed to be us. Maybe now, it’s just supposed to be me, without a him. I’m a little bit out of tune and now the radio is too. We used fit, and now I feel like I dont fit in anywhere. It was always supposed to be him.”

Two weeks later I’m sitting here, with her words stuck in my head because it was always supposed to be you. Maybe one day it wont feel this way, but right now, all I know is there has to be a way for me to get back to being myself without you.

It was always supposed to be you two, because it always has been. Sometimes the words that break our hearts aren’t from the person who broke it, but they are said by the people who are supposed to help you put it back together.