subject line: haunted.

 

canton, georgia

It’s a funny thing, time, but it’s not funny at all how it changes us; how it breaks us. I am haunted by the memories of the girl I used to be. There she is, frozen in time.. a perfect picture of innocence. She has no idea what will happen, what will come to pass, and what she will experience. For now, her heart is whole. She hasn’t been shattered into a million pieces yet. She hasn’t had her first sip of coffee sweetened with milk and sugar. The only agony she knows is when her mother denies her the dessert before dinner. She is whole and safe in her world. Someday soon that world will come crashing down. The coffee won’t taste as sweet, but she will prefer it bitter anyways. Her heart will shatter, but she will find her strength from its resilient beating. Her agony will deepen, but so will her appreciation of every good thing this world has to offer. I am not who I used to be.. and neither is she, but I keep that little girl safe. Sometimes, when it’s quiet, I visit her and I let myself melt into who I used to be.. and for a short time I am whole again. The haunting isn’t so bad, I guess, when it becomes you.