subject line: first meetings.

 

greer, south carolina

I met him at my sister’s rehearsal dinner fourteen days ago. I was instantly attracted to him, he’s everything I like. Hipster. Artistic. Older. But it’s been a while since I liked anybody, seven years, to be exact. And I’m scared. For the first time in seven years, I am wondering things about a guy. How he takes his coffee, what movies he likes, what kind of music he listens to and what sort of books he reads. I’m scared though. The last time I fell, I fell hard and I fell for a very long time and when he got engaged to and married another girl, it took me forever to pick myself up off the ground and even longer to pick up the pieces and put myself together again.

I don’t know if he’s interested. If he could ever be interested. If my questions about his preferences will ever be answered. And that makes these new feelings, so tender and fresh even scarier because if he’s not going to invest himself in me, if there’s a chance he’ll never ever be interested in me then I don’t want anything to do with these feelings. But at the same time, I can’t stop this hope from flourishing up that he will be interested.

I feel like myself again.