subject line: runways.

 

pittsburgh, pennsylvania

Today my best friend called me and told me he’s staying in the South and signed his apartment lease. My first reaction was excitement with a ting of pain shooting through my heart.

I sat on an airplane a month ago at Charlotte airport, bawling my eyes out. I never knew what people meant when they said ‘my heart hurts’ until that day. All the heartbreak I had felt in my life didn’t compare to the pain I felt walking through the doors of the airport, sitting in the terminal, and waiting on the planes. It was like a bad romantic comedy. I walked through the door and was greeted by a chipper service associate with tears streaming down my face. Flash into life in a romantic comedy and I would have turned around and run back to him and told him how I felt. Flash back into real life and I looked back and saw him driving away with my heart, The trip home was the longest 7 hours of my life. I couldn’t stop the tears from coming, I don’t remember the last time I felt the way I did that day. My world was coming to an end basically, I had to fly home. Home without him. Was it really home when he wasn’t there with me?

Just when I lost all faith and a lot of tears the whole way on the plane from Charlotte to Atlanta. The old woman next leaned over when we landed and told me “I don’t know if you believe in the Good Lord, but whatever you’re going through, I’m praying for you and He will show you the way.” The woman didn’t even know me, she didn’t know why I was crying and she still wanted to be there for me. In that moment, I knew God was with me in that woman and God has a plan.

My type A personality doesn’t always believe in the plan mostly because it’s the one thing in my life I can’t control. I can’t control God’s decisions for my life. I can’t control even who I fall in love with. But I can control my faith. I can continue to believe that there is someone out there for me and all these guys that have let me down weren’t the right person.

Maybe I even have faith that he is the right person for me.

Home is wherever I’m with you. Home is wherever you are loved. Maybe home isn’t the same home when I’m not with you.