subject line: heroes.

 

iowa city, iowa 

i think i could save the world. i like to close my eyes and picture myself in Africa with orphaned babies or in conference rooms with abused children or holding the hands of dying teenagers. what is this life if i’m not making a difference? i don’t think you have to have powers to be a hero. i know heroes. my third grade teacher loved all of us like her own and fought cancer for five years. her funeral filled up our entire church. my pastor’s daughter waits in the hospital for a heart and at nine years old she’s wiser than i’ll ever be. my bible study leader is raising a son on her own, but he’s her whole entire world. that girl in my class had a baby and came back to classes two weeks later because she’s desperate to learn. the world is full of heroes and when i watch the sunset or feel a child sleep in my arms or hug my best friend i think that i could be one of those heroes.

but when i cry alone in the shower or fail a test or mess up too much to go back i get scared. life is terrifying and heroes have to fly. they have to get up and go and not be afraid. but i am afraid. i am so very afraid.

so i think i could save the world. but i also think that it might just be easier to hide under the covers and watch all eleven season of Grey’s Anatomy and leave the saving to the real heroes.