subject line: what do you say?


santa barbara, california

What do you say when her dad dies? How do you look someone in the face & say: I’m sorry he’s gone. I’m sorry he’ll never walk you down the aisle, I’m sorry he won’t hold a grandbaby & look up at you with eyes that wonder how his own baby could create such a tiny thing. I’m sorry he won’t say “drive safe” anymore, won’t show up for your flat tires anymore, won’t unclog that shower drain that makes you so mad as you stand three inches deep in water.

How can I look at her & communicate that I’m terrified that what’s happened to her will happen to me? How can I tell her that the darkest parts of my heart envision nightmares that consist of her very life right now. I only look at her & say I can’t imagine. I can’t even imagine. I have no words for her. What do you say? What do you say.