Subject line: Practicing my preaching.

 

gainsville, georgia.

I wrote this blog post two years ago that went viral. I told girls not to be a back up plan, not to be the girl who sits around on second string. Almost one million people have read that post. Last night, I realized that for the last ten months...I’ve been a back-up plan. I’ve been the “plan B” girl. It hurts to admit that, to admit that I’m not the girl thousands of people think I am. I’m imperfect and I let my heart soak up his sunshine and I didn’t bother to put on sunscreen.

So, now comes the moment of truth. Will I keep being her? The hypocrite? The girl who tells everyone that they deserve better, but actually locks herself in the very prison she claims to hold the keys to?

I know that I can’t and won’t ever be happy or content being second string. Today, I have to own up. I have to be a woman of my word. Today, I’m responsible for my heart...I can’t blame him any more. Today, I have to admit that I’m grown and that I’m not ignorant in matters of heartbreak, of holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you.

I’m exhausted. I wrestled with God last night about it. I got two hours of sleep, but I woke up and with a limp like Jacob, I’m walking toward this and saying that I’m going to be the person who makes the choice worthy of the calling on her life.

Today, I stop being the hypocrite and choose to practice what I’ve preached.