Subject line: creating me.

 

manila, philippines.

I am a soul searcher. And the past is my favorite searching ground.

”What did I aspire to be as a kid?”
”What type of boys did I like as a teenager?”
”What words did I use to describe myself to strangers?”

The answers to those questions are my answers to my present self questioning who I really am. The only answers I thought I needed. It’s like I had this idea that I just needed to be reminded of who I was to know who I am.

That was until this April. Until I dyed my hair red. Until I got my first tattoo. Until I turned vegan. Until I changed my first name to Paperpillow (well, not legally, but yep, I’m Paperpillow now, call me Paperpillow now.) Until I began doing things that are so new to me; began allowing myself to actually step out my comfort zone & be in touch with my present person, rather than old skins. And I honestly feel like I know myself more this time. It’s like change could actually introduce me to myself much better than the past could.

So maybe it’s not always a matter of finding who we are, especially through our past. Maybe it’s a matter of creating who we are. Of finding our identities in change and in newness. Maybe you and me— we were created to create ourselves.