subject line: sitting at a crossroad.

 

napa, california 

For my entire life, I’ve always known where I would be going. If you were to ask me today where I will be a year from now, I would literally have no answer. I could spout out all of the places where I hope I will be, but I will never actually know. I graduate from college this June, and I am terrified. I am terrified of growing up, of leaving home, and I am terrified of the uncertainty. I just want to know that everything is going to be alright. I want to know that I will be able to succeed and not let myself down. From the outside it looks like I have everything together. People think I’m the happiest person they’ve ever met. The truth is, I use happiness as a mask to hide my fear.

Perhaps everything I’ve ever wanted will come to me. Perhaps I will be everything I hope to be. In the end I’ll be okay. I know that because I always am. Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that you will be.