subject line: "A" for effort?

 
The crisis came about a year after I moved back home with my parents.

I was reading Lena Dunham’s book Not That Kind of Girl, had been at my non-degree-requiring job for about a year; right at the time when the people who had been there for a year were ready to move onto bigger and better things. I was about a week away from applying for graduate programs helplessly searching for someone who knew me well enough to recommend me to finally move ahead in my life.

The crisis came again after the fifth rejection letter from graduate programs. I am now 3 months shy of my 2-year work anniversary at my non-degree-requiring job right at the time when people are talking about leaving to move onto bigger and better things again. Weird how anniversaries do that to people. TimeHop often makes light of weird anniversaries, making you wish you never had Facebook back in 2006 as it reminds you of those embarrassing statuses you made in 8th grade. Today TimeHop reminded me that 1 year ago I signed up for an online biochemistry class. I had signed up for that class in hopes of boosting my science GPA and meeting requirements for more graduate programs. The same thoughts crossed my mind tonight. With 5 rejections on my desk I looked at ways to improve my application for the next cycle and my science GPA is still staring back at my blatantly.

It’s so cliché to talk about all the things that changed over the course of a year. Why doesn’t anybody talk about the things that never changed?

Here’s to everyone who tried to change and failed miserably.