subject line: how i got over you. Volume 15.

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boise, idaho.

I used to count after you left. It’s been X days since you last kissed me. X days since you last texted. X days since I saw you at the record store and hoped that you saw me and felt like shit. X days since I realized you never really gave a shit about me. I made a Stupid Boy playlist on Spotify. I spent my days crying, writing, dancing, and screaming the lyrics to the songs that said everything I was feeling.

Fuck You by Ceelo
I Knew You Were Trouble by Tay (let’s be honest....everything by Tay)
Dickhead by Kate Nash
If I Were A Boy by Bey
Keep Breathing by Ingrid
By The Grace of God by Katy
and on and on and on....

Then one day I realized I had stopped counting. I couldn’t remember the last time I listened to the playlist. I don’t know if that’s when I realized I was over you, but it was the moment I knew that the way you treated me was never about me at all. You didn’t owe me anything. You were a douche canoe. You were one before you met me and I’d be willing to bet that you still are. But it was never about me and I deserved better than you.